Kohli and Sehwag operated different business models

Brett Geeves | May 20, 2024

As news broke that Virat Kohli is a heck of a bloke, the collective Australian cricket audience gasped in horror.

How could it be? We can’t be wrong, can we!!??

This is the guy who stole Agro’s eyebrows and fast-moving mouth. He’s the man responsible for some of the ghastliest high-pitched squealing heard as a form wicket celebration. He’s the same man who called Steve Smith a cheat before, well, you know, he got caught cheating..

How could we be so wrong!!??

For those that missed that breaking news, Virat Kohli gave up his family’s business class seats, for the lengthy Qantas flight to Perth, so his long-legged quicks could be free from all of life’s cretins who recline their economy purchased seats fully into the neck of those seated behind them.

It is a sign that the culture within the Indian cricket team, the environment of the changeroom and the harmony among them as men – led by Kohli - is greatly improved from those Indian teams, and individuals, who have selfishly chosen business class before them.

Well, so my experiences suggest.

In 2008, I was drafted to the Delhi Daredevils for the inaugural season of the IPL. At that time, T20 cricket was a giggle offering in Australia. Blokes wearing fake moustaches, wigs, and NRL legends were gifted access to state representation in the name of marketing strategy.

The prize? A sandwich bag of 20c pieces.

The beauty of the IPL, and other global franchise tournaments is that they bring a multitude of cultures, personalities and playing styles together. It is great for the game. Brings people together. The world game.

Sadly, my sense of humour is completely lost on most. It’s dark and built from the learnings of the English comedies I grew up on. Adding to this is my sloppy time management and rubber arm for a beer. As a style, it wasn’t popular with the Tasmanian’s I played with, so how do you reckon that sat with my Indian teammates in Delhi?

This is not to say I didn't and don't respect these guys. I was so excited to be a part of that team and to meet Virender Sehwag in particular, that upon meeting the little champ, I threw glue and feathers on him and sang songs of his brilliance.

When bowling to him in centre-wicket practice, I would deliberately bowl short and wide so I could watch his brutal uppercut fly 14 rows into the stands. I idolised Viru as a cricketer.

Yet some say you should never meet your heroes, and below might just be why.

We were at the Delhi airport waiting for the very first team flight of the tournament. At that early stage, we were a united team… having spent the previous 14 hours awake, dancing, playing twister, drinking chardonnay and beating Rajasthan in the opening game of the tournament.

The team manager was handing out the boarding passes and it very quickly became apparent that if you had played international cricket, you had a seat in business class, and if you had not, you were in economy; which could only be described as a deodorant-free zone.

When we boarded the plane, I was in the very first row of economy and my foot could reach through the black curtain for access to the back of Daniel Vettori's business class chair. Fortunately for me, the flight was to Punjab and only 40 minutes long ... because I created a song that was based around the beat of me kicking that chair with every intent to deliver perfect harmonies the entire journey.

My song was titled "You dudes are big heads". And what seemed like hours might have only been minutes/seconds as I sang until I passed out.

As we disembarked via the forward stairs, Viru demanded a team meeting once we arrived at the team hotel.

Sehwag opens the meeting: "It seems that some people (looking directly at me) have an issue with the way the seats on the plane have been allocated. We should talk about this and come up with an answer."

Awkward silence, then …

Geeves: "No issue Viru, at home we fly economy and this is no problem for someone who is 5'11. Although, if you want a change to the current plan, and there are not enough seats for everyone in business class, then maybe we should look at the larger guys being allocated seats up front.

“We’ve got four quicks without international experience who stand at over 6’3 and it seems a good idea to have them not sardined with the cretins”

Sehwag says sternly: "NO, IT IS NOT THE SIZE OF PLAYER - BUT SIZE OF NAME THAT COUNTS"

Ok, I’ll agree that falling off my chair in a fit of laughter and crying "Oh my god, he didn't, did he?" was possibly a bad response.

But damn, that’s just not how real people operate.

It’s why we were wrong about Virat. And why we should be concerned about an Indian team who are bonded by the type of harmony, leadership and love not seen by a touring Indian team before.

At 1- 0, this Indian team is the……. Business.

Originally published in 2018 on Today's Tale