Little Chris
Shane Lee | June 24, 2023
We have all heard the jokes about ‘Little Johnny’. Remember him? The little prick at school that would wind up the teacher, his class mates and ladies in the tuck shop. Most jokes ended up with “Little Johnny” seeing his teacher’s breasts or tricking a girl into an embarrassing position.
When I first moved to the Mosman Cricket Club in 1995, the teams “Little Johnny” came in the form of “Little Chris”, or Christopher Barry Muldoon to be more precise.
Chris captained the first grade team, bowled off spin with perfect shape and was my flat mate for more than four years. The little prick got me into more trouble than the early settlers but his school boy humour still makes me laugh today.
The art of finger spin has always intrigued me. Subtlety and patience are the key ingredient - two words you’ll never read on my CV.
When I think of great finger spinners, I think Greg Matthews, Daniel Vettori and Graeme Swan. I’m choosing to leave out Mutiah Muralitharan due to the fact I’m still not sure what he actually bowled. Even though I faced him a number of times I still have no idea if they were leggies or offies.
Chris Muldoon bowled some brilliant spells whilst we played together for Mosman. Each spell came with energy, guile and school boy pranks.
Like a good full forward in AFL, Muldoon liked to pick out his opposite number and go personally for their throat. Chris’s only issue being he only stood 5 foot 2, wore coke bottle glasses and would use big words no Westy off spinner could comprehend. Most altercations would end with my good self or big Craig Hughes having to defuse the situation as the chirpy Muldoon stood behind his two big mates sledging with a big smile.
Muldoon’s arch enemy came in the form of a left arm spinner from Bankstown. Kenny “Emu’ Hall. A former fast bowler from Penrith turned into a left arm miserly competitor who played into his 50’s. Muldoon hated the fact that our batsmen at Mosman would just kick away Kenny’s straight breaks.
“He doesn’t turn the ball you ill-informed fools” Chris would yell from the sidelines as another Mosman batter padded up to Kenny Hall’s arm ball.
On this particular day at Bankstown Oval, Muldoon batting up the order this week at number eleven strode to the crease to join me. Mosman had capitulated under another spell of K Hall and it was up to the roomies to get our team to a competitive score.
Before I had a chance to talk with my new partner, Muldoon pointed at Kenny Hall and said “I’m going to smash the shit out of your shit Emu.” Emu being Kenny Hall’s nickname due to his age.
The battle that then took place between a blind midget and a non-spinning senior citizen could only be described as a scene from Dad’s Army.
The battle culminating with Muldoon getting down on one knee to slog sweep Kenny Hall for six only to fall flat on his own face still makes me laugh today. Chris did all this whilst yelling “you're shit Emu."
I still remember Wayne Holdsworth laughing out loud from square leg saying “I love the way you play Peabody,” Wayne obviously referring to my room mates appearance!
Today both Chris and Kenny Hall are long retired. How old are they I hear you ask?
Let’s just say, they are ineligible for the Pfizer jab. But their feats and banter live on. They were both cunning spinners and both characters and competitors in their own right. In my opinion, it's these weekend warriors that make the game of cricket a beautiful one.
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