What's an arm ball Shane
Shane Lee | January 23, 2024
“It is better to remain silent and appear a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
Wise words from Sir Winston Churchill and advice I probably should have given to my Mosman team mate Nick Grover.
Sledging comes in many formats, from abusive over the top vulgar tirades to subtle creative thought provoking strategies. Whatever the flavour, when you open your mouth on the sporting field you need to be able to back it up. In saying that, it is the stories of sledging that gave me the greatest humour on the cricket field.
I first met Nick Grover when I made the trip down the M4 from Campbelltown Cricket Club to the Mosman Cricket Club. Nick was this brash private school kid with a panache to ‘knuckle' at every chance. All the other Mosman boys would give Nick shit about having the GPS record of being expelled from three private schools - Shore, Newington and Sydney High. I think Nick has one of the best networks in Sydney now, so maybe he’s having the last laugh.
It was 2005 and I had been asked to come out of retirement and play for Mosman in its Centenary year. No longer able to bowl, I accepted the challenge forgetting how friggin sore you get after a day in the field. I found a few differences after five years of retirement, but I also found some things never change. The bats had got a lot bigger. More wood and less weight, meant you could hit the ball a lot further. Players now didn’t hang around for a beer post-match and certainty didn’t go out for a night on the town together.
The good news, the on field banter was still there. Did I say banter? I mean the abusive vulgar tirades - ah welcome back to grade cricket.
This particular Saturday saw the Mosman Whales taking on the might of the West in Hawkesbury at Rawson Oval, Mosman. Nick was my new opening batsmen (after I gave him a 10 minute coaching session the previous Thursday on “How to bat in first grade”, as I wanted a mate in the team - or at least someone to have a beer with post-match.
Playing for Hawkesbury then was the very talented Stephen O’Keefe. An excellent lower order bat and outstanding finger spinner with great control and subtle variation. Mosman performed well after losing the toss and with half an hour to go had Hawkesbury 8 for 170. O’Keefe had scored 12 when he then sliced one to gully to be caught one handed by Nick Grover. “Fark off you Westie, long drive home champ”, yelled Nick.
“Who the fark are you, you shit carter?” replied Stephen.
“Listen there is only one difference between you and me Stephen. When we both leave Rawson Oval here tonight, you turn right and I turn left to Cliffton Gardens.”
Wow Nick has played the “Rich Card.”
It then dawned on me that my new abusive opening batsmen may have to face an over or two tonight if we take one more wicket and bowl them out.
Like any good Hollywood script, this is exactly what happened. Hawkes all out for 177 and Mosman had to face three overs before stumps. I told both openers that their quicks would bowl the first two overs and O’Keeffe will bowl the last over of the day, left arm off spin around wicket with a new ball.
I then went into detail to Nick on how O’Keefe will probably bowl five slow off breaks and finish with his big arm ball. “What is an arm ball?”, “Think of it as a big in swinger! “ I said along with under my breath, “My God, why did I pick him?”
Picture the above happening exactly to a tee and Nick is about to face the last ball of the day from the bowler he had sledged only an hour before. With fading light, the Hawkes had surrounded Nick like a pack of wild dogs and blood was on the menu.
I felt light yelling out “Arm Ball Nick, Arm Ball.” But then realised he didn’t even know what that was!
“In-swinger Nick, In-swinger”. Too late! Before I could even summons the courage to yell out, the arm ball was on its way and Nick was standing there already about to shoulder arms. The ball missed his front leg and knocked out his leg stump!
“Not bad for a Westie, hey Nick."
“Agree, but you still have a long drive home.“
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