Fifteen Minutes of Fame - Australia's 70 One-Test Wonders by Ken Piesse
Ken Piesse | May 27, 2023
Their fame was fleeting and their stories compelling. Seventy of Australia’s Test cricketers appeared only once. Their journeys will entertain, enlighten and delight – and have been beautifully told by Australian cricket’s master storyteller Ken Piesse.
One of the debutants hitch-hiked to the ground, another broke down on match-eve.. but still played...
So gripped by nerves was one that he could hardly feel the ball in his hand. Another was plucked from Twenty-two of Ballarat into an MCG Test the very same week. Ken Meuleman’s sole Test ended in eight hours. Dr Bert Hartkopf was a luckier. His Test went for seven days. He made 80, yet still was dropped.
Fifteen Minutes of Fame, Australia’s 70- One Test Wonders, a 284 page hardback, is available now, for $60 including post or $10 as an e-book.
Why 15 Minutes of Fame
Even Wisden was aghast, cricket’s bible rating it a ‘bombshell’ – among the biggest in history. Knight-to-be Ian Botham called it ‘illogical, pathetic and diabolical’. Others were less compassionate. An Australian playing for England? Surely not! Melbourne roof tiler Darren Pattinson walked into the breakfast room at England’s Leeds hotel and introduced himself to his captain, Michael Vaughan. They’d never met. He was as stunned as everyone else.
It was match morning at Headingley and Pattinson, 28, was on standby after just five games with Victoria and six with Nottinghamshire.
He spoke with a dinkum-di Aussie twang. While English-born, he had been living in Melbourne since the age of six. He was in the UK playing a summer of county cricket purely for fun. Thanks to his British passport, he could play as a ‘local’.
He’d awakened his father with a phone call after midnight with his ‘bolt from the blue’ news. It had always been his and his younger brother James’ dream to play Test cricket.
"Darren is as Australian as they come,’ said his Dad John. ‘I’m over the moon,’ he told local reporters. ‘It’s a dream come true, for me, and for Darren.’
Vaughan told him that his No.1 Jimmy Anderson had been sore and selector Geoff Miller purely wanted some ‘insurance’. Just over an hour before the game, Pattinson was told he was playing – Anderson was ok, but another paceman Ryan Sidebottom wasn’t.
Instead of spending a day with his young family at the west Midlands theme resort Alton Towers, Pattinson was to open the bowling for England in the second Test against South Africa at historic Headingley.
Affable, genuine and always willing, Pattinson’s Test career lasted just four days. He took two wickets, being an innocent victim in a shambolic selection system soon to be overhauled.
Back for Melbourne’s spring, I spoke with Victoria’s latest Test cricketer for radio Sport 927. ‘It all happened so fast,’ he said. ‘I’d only just gone over and purely to play county cricket. It was a shock all right.’ That night on the cricket segment I dubbed Pattinson the game’s latest ‘One Test Wonder’ and the show’s co-host Andrew Kuuse said afterwards: ‘I like that. That could be your next book.’
Fifteen years later, the book has finally arrived, chockfull of tall stories and true.
None are quite as bizarre as Pattinson’s extraordinary story, but some went close. Harry Musgrove, a theatrical entrepreneur, was in regional Ballarat at a grand opening of one of his shows at Christmas-time 1884. The English cricketers happened to be in town for a match against the local XXII starting Boxing Day. Would he like a game? Musgrove played out of skin to score the century of his life and a week later found himself in Australia’s Test team. He’d played just once for Victoria, years earlier.
Like Pattinson and the other Australians to enjoy 15 minutes of fame, it was to be his only Test, their fame ever so fleeting.
One in six of Australia’s Test cricketers played only once. All bless themselves at their good luck and opportunity. Some were more fortunate than others. Ken Meuleman’s Test week in Wellington lasted eight hours. An opening batsman, he was bowled for a fourth ball duck and, at the time, he didn't even know he was playing in a Test. Fellow Victorian Dr Bert Hartkopf’s Test went for a full seven days. He made 80 and still was dropped!
Ken Eastwood’s Test was notable for him having to hitch a ride to the Sydney Cricket Ground after the team’s taxis went to the wrong hotel. He was given two baggy greens to try on and was never asked to hand one back. Bryce McGain had always dreamed of making a century for Australia: he never thought his would come off 11 overs.
Every cricketer has a story. The one Test wonders all agree they happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Pattinson was always destined to be among the rank-and-file in Australian Sheffield Shield ranks. He had a big heart and hit the bat hard. He found it difficult to get a regular game even with Victoria. One day he agreed to play a crucial home match after Dirk Nannes withdrew at the 11th hour to concentrate on his Twenty20 career. Coach Greg Shipperd and the senior players were ropable. Pattinson was only weeks into his rehabilitation after a serious injury, but told Shipperd if he was short, he’d play. Despite not even one full net session, he bowled 25 overs the following day into the wind, took several key wicket and was integral in another win and more Sheffield Shield silverware. I congratulated him afterwards, saying he’d delivered above and beyond. He just smiled and said, if you have the opportunity, you play.
No wonder his cricket-mad Dad and Mum and fast bowling brother James are proud of him.
* Darren Pattinson’s story is not in the main part of this book as he played Test cricket for England and not Australia. The stories of Australia’s 70 ‘one Test wonders’, are listed in alphabetical order, from Bodyline paceman Harry ‘Bull’ Alexander to Tasmania’s Shaun Young.
