What's the funniest thing you've ever seen happen in a game of cricket?

I was playing a 2nd grade for Balmain against St. George at Hurstville Oval. I was fielding at silly leg and Andrew Jones was bowling with the new ball. Andrew was 19 at the time and was one of the fastest bowlers in grade cricket. The batsman went for a full blooded on drive and got a thick edge straight into my mouth. The force removed one of my large upper front teeth and snapped two of my lower front teeth. I was a very sick guy and was rushed off to St. George Hospital where they stitched up my mouth and forced my two lower teeth upright. I then went to an emergency dentist to have exposed nerves removed and my two lower teeth glued together. I returned to Hurstville Oval feeling very unwell. My vice captain Terry McMahon quizzed me as to how I was feeling. I put on a brave face and said I was okay. He asked me for reassurance that I was okay and I said I was. Upon this Terry stated “you know what Mark, I reckon you should have swallowed that catch”.

2nd grade game in Brisbane. Batter tries to hook the bouncer, there is a noise as it goes through to the keeper. We all appealed for caught behind. Batter says "it hit me in the head!".
Quick as a flash, our short leg says "well that explains the wooden sound".

In the days of 8 ball overs in Armidale many years ago, the umpire called out to the wonderful lady scorer Elspeth Howie, how many balls?
Elspeth replied 4. Wally Miller a fieldsman immediately called out “is that 4 bowled or 4 to come?”

Grade game in Brisbane where the opposition captain declared behind the follow on , asked to bat again !
He asked “ how longs this been going on ?”.
He was told 127 years .

1st grade game Balmain v Gordon at Drummoyne Oval. Was the greenest wicket anyone had ever seen. Mark O’Neill was batting against Andrew Jones and the ball flew off the wicket, hit him in the helmet and knocked him out. After awakening and reassuring us he was okay we told him the bad news that he was out as his helmet had fallen onto the stumps and dislodged the bails. Quick as a flash Mark pulled out a $20 note from his pocket and said “here is $20 so the groundsman can buy a lawn mower”.

Captaining 2nd grade for Balmain one day. A big partnership had developed and my vice captain ”Thommo” asked me “how much would you like a wicket Mark”. I said I would kill for a wicket. Thommo responded “well give me an over and I will mankad the #*!#+”. I told him to go to fine leg.

The next season I was in 1st grade and Thommo was the 2nd grade captain. I looked in the paper on the Sunday to check how the other grades went. Under the 2nd grade results it stated under Mosman’s innings “A Milenko 62 (mankad)”. I rang Thommo up and asked him what happened. He said the opposition batsmen were in a big partnership. He gave himself one over and mankadded the opposition captain and the other batsman in his anger tried to hit him out of the park and skied one and got caught.

The year before I thought he was only joking.

It's 1975 and Tony Grieg, Waverley's captain, conspires with the players from the opposing team, Randwick, to play a trick on a fieldsman in the gloom of a Rothman’s Knock Out limited over match at Waverley Oval. 

Tony bowls, the Randwick batsman Billy Knowles hooks and Tony screams to the visually challenged fieldsman who is fielding in the dark at deep fine leg, “Hournie Catch it, Catch it”. Hournie of course runs around in circles looking for the ball but it can’t be seen. At least by Hournie.

After an agonising twenty or so seconds and a fruitless search for the ball Hournie looks up and sees Greigy sitting on the pitch laughing his head off holding the ball up in the air. 

The crowd and opposing team are also laughing because Greigy had cooked up a
scheme to bowl a “dummy” and for the batsman to play a ‘dummy’ hook shot. Everyone was in on the act except Hournie.

Tony dined out on that at many Waverley functions for years after.


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Western Suburbs First Grade in Sydney and we’re playing Manly at Manly Oval in the mid-90s, Wests captain Mike Swan was batting with Geoff Spotswood and we’re doing quite well but if you know Spotty, he’s a fierce competitor but struggles with running due to a long and glorious rugby league career.
Manly were down a player through injury and we offered a fielder to step in. I was sent on and positioned a fine leg. Swanny was on strike, he clips a ball to backward square. As they’ve set off for two runs, I’ve swept around to pick up and through not realising that Swanny was coming back for a third. Spotty was even more surprised and had already made camp at the non-striker’s end. I send the ball into the keeper with the usual enthusiasm, not checking to see if the guys were safely home.
As a result, the ball sailed nicely over the top of the bails for the Manly keeper to make an easy run out, with Mike halfway down the wicket…. I nearly ate his bat as he made his way past me to the pavilion. Still hasn’t forgiven me.

When I first moved to Sydney (1985/86) I opened the batting with our skipper Steve Janz, Western Suburbs v Manly at Pratten Park.
Manly had David Lawrence who went on to open the bowling for England a few years later in their team.
Lawrence was bowling from the bowling club end and a few overs he had Janzy dropped at first slip from the 4th ball of the over. The next ball Janzy edged straight to first slip, and he was dropped again.
The 6th ball of the over was uneventful as was the next over from the other end.
The first ball of Lawrence’s next over Janzy edged it straight to first slip again and for the 3rd time in 4 balls the catch went down. First slip was hitting the ground with his hand whilst everyone else turned and looked away while smiling politely.

In the early 70s I was playing for Central Cumberland District Cricket Club (CCDCC) against Balmain at the SCG. Balmain and NSW opening batsmen, Tony Steele, was in superb form and I have never heard a batsman sledge a fielding side the way Tony did that day. He would say things like " easy", "that is crap", "don't bowl that shit to me" etc. as he hit another boundary. He didn't shut up.
Our opening bowler, Bill Lothian, moved me to fine leg right on the boundary near the Brewongle Stand. Tony Steele saw this field change and practised playing a hook shot to which I cheekily responded by pretending to take a catch. Tony saw this a just gave a mocking laugh. Two balls later, Billy bowled a short ball which Tony hooked. I did not have to move, the catch was hit straight to me (it would have been a six these days). I really enjoyed mimicing Tony's mocking laugh as he trudged off the field.

1972, Australia v Warwickshire at Edgbaston. Packed ground and Bob Willis walks out to bat, minus one thing, his cricket bat. He went to take guard then realised his minor misdemeanour.
We all kept straight faces. Funny at the time !!!

Playing for Gordon Green Shield in '81 versus Mosman at Allan Border Oval, we were fielding. Ball struck towards boundary, two guys chase the ball, and the first guy picks up the ball and without looking, picks up the ball, pivots beautifully and throws the ball at 246km/h - straight into the head of Tony Cable, the other fielder. The ball bounced off Tony's head and over the fence on the full. Debate raged whether it was a 6 or a 4, whilst poor old Tony lay prostrate near the mid wicket boundary........ fyi Tony did recover.........